A little bravery, a little sunshine ☀️

Finding the courage to show up — even when it feels too much.

Dear Human,

Are you excited about how you show up?
If yes, why?
If no, why not?

The weather in Barcelona has been glorious — bright sun, bare shoulders, people laughing in parks — and yet I found myself dissatisfied with my outfit choices.
Even though I finally got all my clothes from Budapest, somehow... I still feel like I don't have enough to wear.

Barcelona at 7am

Truth is there are layers to this feeling:

Layer 1: I have classes in the evening, and it’s hard to decide what feels appropriate. I work from home, so I can't even pretend I’m coming straight from the office. (Or can I?)

Layer 2: I love sundresses — I really, really do — but the Nigerian girl in me whispers that they’re too "much" for class. (If you disagree, please tell me why. Maybe you can help me rewrite that story in my head.)

Layer 3: Everyone else in my class wears jeans and a T-shirt.
I don’t want to stand out in my colorful sundresses — some of which are even halter neck. (Can I really wear that to a class?)

When I realized that 2 out of these 3 reasons were based on other people, I knew something had to give.
I'm pulling out the sundresses.
Because they are me.
And I’m proud of that version of me — even if she’s a little louder, a little softer, a little more seen.

I’m not excited about the T-shirt version of me right now — and that's okay.

Help a girl out:

Reflection Prompt:
What’s one area of your life you might be hiding or downplaying?

How can you show up as a version of yourself that excites you — not just one that fits in?

Dear Human, I welcome you to say this grounding affirmation with me:

I show up fully as myself — bright, brave, and blooming. I honour the spaces that nourish my energy, the friendships that welcome my presence, and the dreams that call me forward.
I trust that every small act of showing up is a seed, and in time, it will blossom beyond what I can imagine.

Three questions I pondered this week:

1. How do I get more energy?

The last seven days were heavy on reflection.
April is waving goodbye, and I'm looking at my goals, wondering: will I meet them in the next 60 days?

One thing became painfully clear — I have a lot of dreams, but many are still waiting to be lived. Like learning an instrument... it’s still sitting in the "someday" pile.

And yet, this week, something strange happened:
I started finding more time.
How, when I already work 6 hours a day, commute 2 hours, and have evening classes 4 days a week?

I took back my mornings.

Instead of rolling out of bed and diving into work at 8am, I gave myself permission to start at 9.
I woke up at 6:30am, took a prayer walk, read, journaled, stretched, showered... and somehow by 8:45, I had poured life into myself.

Found these magnificent stairs during one of my walks this week.

By the third day, I felt different. Stronger.
I realized I didn’t have a time problem.
I had a strength problem.

We often think we need energy before we move, but often the doing creates the energy we are waiting for.

It’s not perfect. Some mornings I have to bribe myself out of bed with the promise of my warm, trusty sweater.
But I’m learning:

"I am a faithful steward of my energy, and as I pour into myself, life pours back into me."

Maybe you don’t have a time management problem either.
Maybe you just need to move toward the things that give you life.

---

2. How can I build community?

Not on my terms. That’s for sure .

Loneliness found me this week, heavy and a little sharp.
Being alone in a foreign country can feel like standing in the middle of a street with no one waving back at you.

I called a few friends — shoutout to Larry and Hadiza for picking up — just to hear someone on the other side of the phone.

I even told Larry:
“I want to host brunches but... I don't have anyone to invite.”

You know you've reached lonely pro-max when you don’t even have guests to dream about.

But then — a surprise:
While studying for an exam with a classmate, I asked if she had explored Barcelona.

Brain food before my exam…

“Oh yes,” she said. “A few of us walk around almost every Saturday.”

I was stunned.
Why hadn’t I been invited?

She paused and said, "We usually make plans after class. But you always leave early."

That moment hit hard.
I realized: I was the one keeping myself apart.
My timelines, my rushing, my need to "finish fast" — it was costing me the friendships I craved.

So the next day, I stayed a little longer.
And guess what? We planned a beach trip.

Maybe community isn’t found in the grand moments.
Maybe it’s in the small, lingering afters.
The willingness to stay.

I am Celine! I may not have aced my exam but I aced my Kahoot quiz!

---

3. What's the worst that will happen?

Since launching my YouTube channel — my little home for music — I’ve been filled with a rush of hope.
It feels like all my dreams have a place to land now.

But... I haven’t built much yet.
I’ve been stuck in my head.

Writing songs, dreaming of shows, feeling all this energy buzzing inside me — but holding back from doing the thing.

Because what if it flops?
What if I can't stay consistent?

I realized this week:
The answers to those questions can only come after I move.

I found comfort in this:
People make things.
Filmmakers put movies on YouTube.
Artists release songs on Bandcamp.

They don’t wait for permission.
They just make.

So here’s what I’m reminding myself (and you too, if you need it):

"I give myself permission to begin, imperfectly and wholeheartedly."

What do you need to give yourself permission to do?

---

Voice Memo:
In the spirit of reflection, I realised I am eager to see how 2025 goes, I am eager to see how walking everyday changes me, what writing songs more consistently brings into my life and what all these choices remove from my life. I want to have a paper trail of days in 2025. So yes, I wrote a song about it …

Lyrics

I wanna recap my year
I wanna see everything that I did everywhere that i went, this year
I wanna recap my year give thanks for the times that were hard and were good
and the pretty ugly times too.
So i’m gonna document every where that i go ,
everything that i do so that i don’t forget
what a year I have had at the end of the year, the end

---

Projects:
🌟 We’re live on YouTube! 🌟

Exactly one year ago, I had a show and hoped to release the songs.
That didn’t happen — for many reasons.
But that’s okay.

We’re not starting from scratch.
We’re starting again.
And that’s something to be excited about.

I’m eager to see how releasing this project will nurture my love for music, my courage, my creativity.

Thank you for being part of this journey.

Till next week,

With love and laughter,
Oibiee