Baby Steps, Birthday Blues, and Beautiful Beginnings
An upcoming birthday, a breakdown, and a burst of joy.
Dear Human,
Life is wild. So much happens that we don’t process—and it’s wild how deeply that affects our ability to just be.
How was your week? “On a scale from 1–10, how kind were you to yourself?”
(1 being “ugh, that was rough” and 10 being “softer than a feather...”)
I hope you were somewhere in the middle. If not, this week is a fresh chance to be a little kinder to yourself—because you deserve it.
It’s my birth week, so I invite you to say this soft little affirmation with me:
I know who I am. Sometimes I forget and act out of line, but deep down, I know who I am.
I’m strong enough to say, “I’m scared.”
Bold enough to say, “I don’t appreciate that.”
Calm enough to nurture my soul through food, silence, and movement—in any form that excites me.
All of these are ingredients in a soothing cup of chai.
What’s your favorite hot drink? Mine’s chai. ☕
🧡 Reflection prompt:
And while you’re sharing your fave warm sip—I’d love to know, when did you experience kindness this week?
(Big or small, I’d love to hear.)
A Little About My Week
On Sunday, March 30th, I went to an open mic for women. From the poster, I expected a full room and structured program… but that’s not what I walked into. It was a small turnout—cozy, homey, unstructured. But it was full of present, excited women.
And weirdly, it felt familiar.
“Cozy, homey, unstructured.”
Those are all the words I’d use to describe my dream event.
So why was I initially disappointed? Why did I expect something bigger, shinier, more polished?
It made me pause and ask:
Are my expectations slowly draining the joy out of things?
Why do I expect everything to be fancy and finished?
Watching the organizer bounce around with pure glee reminded me: it’s okay to be thrilled by small turnouts and soft beginnings. I want to hold space for rough edges—because I’m rough around the edges too. And I like that about me.
🌸 Soft Truth:
We don’t need perfect beginnings. Cozy, homey, and messy can be magic too.
The Birthday Blues
Thursday was hard.
For a moment, I regretted moving to Barcelona because “the loneliness was killing me.”
If you know me, you know I’m the biggest birthday celebrator.
I plan surprises. I message your friends. I make magic happen.
But this year… I was far from everyone I know and love.
To top it off, I tried to send things from Budapest to feel a little more like myself—but the package was sabotaged.
So yeah, Thursday was heavy.
And I’m still not over it.
But.
The bright side: I planned my own celebration with my AWEMAZING flatmates. It’ll be a night of too much sushi, games, laughter, and Polaroids.
I can already feel how much we’re going to laugh.
It won’t be perfect. But it will be us. And I’m so excited.
And yes—school runs every night for the next year. But I only get one birthday a year.
So I’m skipping class to bask in it.
The nerd in me is still fighting it. But future me will be so proud I chose joy.
Share this with someone who needs a birthday hug.
This Week's Reflections
1. On Being Selfish (or... maybe just human?)
Lately, I’ve noticed how much I think about me.
How I can move forward. Get what I need. Reach my goals.
It makes me a little sad.
I miss being the me who gives freely, who serves, who shows up without needing a return
.
But maybe this is part of learning boundaries. Maybe I’m just recalibrating.
I think what I’m really craving is balance—between giving and receiving.
2. On Turning 26
At that same open mic, I met the kindest woman. We got to chatting about style in Barcelona. I told her how expressive everyone seems—how the city feels like a moving gallery, with people painting their stories on themselves through what they wear.
She smiled and said, “Be you. Don’t try to be anyone else. Don’t feel pressured to dress up. Some days I come out glam, other days I come out in clothes covered in lint.”
I laughed, and then found myself saying, “Yeah… that really makes sense. For me, it’s not about trying to keep up—it feels more like I’m starting to crave expression. Like I want the outside of me to match what’s growing inside. I think I’m slowly shedding my T-shirt and jeans era… trading it for something just as comfy, but more me. Still simple—but chosen with love. And maybe a little wink of edge.”
She looked at me and said, “You’re realizing you’re amazing—and you want to embody that in everything. It starts at 26. And by 35, it hits you even harder.”
She said it starts in your feet. And by 35, you know it in your bones.
So for now, I’m settling into 26—with all its questions, edges, and beginnings. Letting the magic bloom where it wants to.

3. On Expecting the Worst
Something happened in my family, and I expected the worst.
I was bracing for chaos. I thought it might tear us apart.
But it didn’t.
In fact, everyone responded with softness and care.
And I was surprised.
Then I wondered—why did I assume the worst of them?
I realized I had let other people’s stories and trauma shape my expectations of my own family.
And that broke my heart a little.
So in this next year, I want to be more mindful of how I think about people. Especially the ones I love.
Voice Memo: The Gratitude Walk
In the middle of a chaotic week, I took a walk and asked myself:
What am I grateful for?
I was sad about my birthday. Things hadn’t gone as planned.
But as I walked, I began to see things that made me smile:
A tiny flower. A weird little chair. The breeze on my cheek.
It reminded me:
On the hard days, counting the small things can anchor us.
A Little Song for You
Thank you for the sun
Thank you for the trees
Thank you for the tiny bird that’s chirping in my ear
Thank you for the breeze
I feel it in my knees
Thank you for the crispy air—it reminds me that you care.
Thank you for the crispy air—it reminds me that you’re here.
Projects
🎥 I’m cooking up something behind the scenes, and I can’t wait to show you during spring break. It’s from my last show—and it holds a piece of my heart.
A little birthday wish from me to you 🎈
Right now, there are 44 of us reading Oibiee’s Playground—a small, beautiful circle that means the world to me.
Writing these letters each week has been such a grounding joy. It’s my favorite kind of slow magic. But I’d really love to grow this space—to share these reflections, voice notes, and soft questions with more gentle humans.
My birthday wish? Let’s grow this community to 100 readers.
If there’s someone you think would love this space—someone who appreciates heart-led writing, honest reflection, and a little bit of weekly wonder—please consider sharing this letter with them.
👉 Send this letter to a friend (or post it in your group chat, your story, anywhere you feel moved)
Thanks for being part of this. You already made my week. 💛
Till next week—
With love and laughter,
Oibiee
Happy Birthday, Oibiee! I'm wishing you Birthday wishes come true on this next trip around the sun for you!
I love coffee, and also in the form of a good cappuccino.
For your birthday, I want to gift you with this: Your substack feed came to me just after my mother died of 88 years, this past February. The ideas you express, and feelings you share have been so comforting to me, often feel like an old friend cheering me on or my own inner voice, but then also it is your own journey which is so inspiring to me. The past 16 years I was my mother's care giver, and now she has passed. I feel quite lost now, and working to find myself again. I'm really grateful to read your work, thank you for sharing it! It's really amazing because you are just beginning your life, while I am 65 and in the crone phase of mine, which I am okay with, yet how wonderful is it that your insights can also inspire an old gal, too!
Sending much "you go girl" and love from the state of Michigan in the U.S.
Happy Birthday, Oibiee! 🎂💕
Happiest birthday to you, hope the celebration was just as amazing as it sounded!